I don’t really understand people who feel the need to lie compulsively, even when there is no gain from it, or could actually be negative impacts vs just telling the truth.
I don’t mean just lying in general. Almost all of us lie, I am no exception to this rule – but most of us lie for a reason. Sometimes the reason is a bad one – we are just embarrassed or overthinking how someone else will react to the truth or something else along those lines – but there is a reason, and when that reason doesn’t exist and it is neutral or beneficial to tell the truth, we do so.
Some people, however, just feel the need to lie in almost every situation. They need a strong, compelling reason to even consider telling the truth about anything – and even then some of them can’t bring themselves to be completely forthright and honest.
You would think all the practice would make them better at lying – and in some cases it does. But in many cases, I have found that they just stop caring that nobody believes their lies and tell incredibly obvious lies over and over again – doubling down when called out on it.
The other half of the equation that perplexes me even more sometimes is that it seems like more often than not this strategy works for them. People either know they are lying but pass it off as “oh that is just how that person is, ignore it” – or else people start to believe their lies through sheer repetition. It is almost a form of brainwashing.
If, say, the compulsive liar is a coworker – and they say that their piece of a vital project is almost done and they’ll have it sent to you in 15 minutes, despite clearly not knowing what anyone is talking about and having been asleep at their desk all day.. People will accept this answer. If you ask someone else about the project, they will say they are just waiting on the liar’s portion, which they should have in about 15 minutes. Sales people will tell customers estimates based on this information. Everyone just accepts the answer, even if at their core they know it is a lie.
Now, usually eventually the luck of such people does run out, and they have to either fulfill their commitments or suffer some consequences for failing to do so. It doesn’t work out for them “long term” very often – just in the short term, extended to the mid-term if they can chain enough lies together. But sometimes there are those who turn it into a strange art form. Those who tell constant lies, make no effort to be believable, contribute nothing to society or anyone around them, yet somehow skate by.. Either brainwashing those around them or just annoying the OCD people around them into doing things for them then taking credit, to perpetuate their lies.
Many of you who are politically minded probably have someone in mind right now. Maybe I’ve considered the same person. Politicians are the obvious examples. Though even there most of them lie strategically rather than compulsively, so the true compulsive liars still stand out, in my opinion.
This rambling may have been inspired by some interactions at work today as well. As I say, I just don’t get it. I suppose I don’t have to though – reality doesn’t need my understanding or permission to be the way it is.